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Author's 'before' picture is me very often. I'm nearly ego-less in pursuit of the truth--more than ready to be shown wrong myself--but that doesn't mean that coworkers and loved ones end up feeling good about the conversation.

I hope he will write a "how to" follow up, because I would like to change, but I don't see how to do it in a way that doesn't sound impossibly exhausting.

I'm hopeful that it actually is possible, though, because for 30+ years I had never been able to keep any space well-ordered for more than a few weeks, nor had any reason to think I ever would be able to. I read "the life changing magic of tidying up" and it turns out I can do it--I just needed to be taught how. This may not seem relevant, but it's been life-changing not so much to have a tidy office, but to learn that what I assumed was a fixed personal trait was changeable after all.



I think reading, "How To Win Friends and Influence People " from Dale Carnegie helps.

Took me years to understand soft skills are as much or more important than technical skills.

(Fixed book's name)


It's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and it's one of Paul Graham's recommended books (see http://www.paulgraham.com/startupfaq.html ), along with the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.

There's also "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", which is often recommended in the same breath.


Shoot, I wrote it correctly at first, and after checking for the authors correct name with google, I screwed and put it wrongly.

That search is still open and the text is correct there. Actually, I don't know how I managed this screw up.


I did a lightning talk a while back called "7 Habits of Highly Effective DevOps", adapting the habits and the organization of them to doing DevOps well.


Would you mind sharing your notes on that, if you have any?



Thanks. Maybe I'll try it again. I've read it once, and my memory of what I read is a major contributor to the entire enterprise seeming beyond exhausting.


fsniper made a good recommendation with "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

I'd also put in a recommendation for a book I stumbled upon when searching through Hacker News called "Difficult Conversations."

http://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Conversations-Discuss-What-M...

I got the same feeling from reading the book as the original recommender ( https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7762266 ): reading the book made me feel instantly better at being able to communicate when having difficult or tense conversations. I can't recommend it enough.




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