In the UK I've run into people who use the term `partner' for whomever they are in a non-married exclusive relationship with, regardless of whether they are gay or straight.
I don't know how common that is, or how it got started. I wonder whether it will ever catch on in the US?
This describes me (I live in the UK). I'm 31 I've been in a lovely heteronormative relationship for eight years. We aren't married, and we've called each other 'partner' for years. In my head it lives in the linguistic space between '[boy|girl]friend' and the state-sponsored '[husband|wife]'. I also enjoy its gender neutrality.
"partner" implies a deeper relationship than many "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships. When someone describes someone as their partner (in a relationship context), I assume they are married or common-law (or would be married if it was legal -- e.g. gay marriage).
Ugh the word "lover" really creeps me out for some reason. It might be because of the Welshly Arms Hotel SNL sketch. Either way, I can't imagine referring to anyone as "my mom's lover." shiver
I meant to imply that "lover" was defined as "someone you have sex with," not "someone you are having an affair with." It's just used in the context of an affair because your partner in the affair is someone you have sex with.
I know many people, and none of them refer to their
significant other as a 'partner.' For example, I know
one guy that is 50, who refers to his same-aged
significant other as his 'girlfriend,' and it doesn't
seem to bother him that 'girl' is in the name instead
of 'woman.'
"Partner" tends to better describe mature stable adult relationships better than any of the suggestions. Without a huge set of religious conditions, "husband" and "wife" carry no more baggage than "partner" used in a business context.
Others have pointed to the juvenilization potentially implied by "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." Furthermore, "-friend" fails to connote the appropriate level of commitment - even absent the impact of Facebook.
"Partner" cuts through messy reality. Polyamorous relationships. Separated spouses. Concubines (and their male counterparts).
a) You might not want to disclose the sex of the other person.
b) Some people object against the term 'girl' and 'boy' for grown up people.
c) Political reasons, there is a wider variety of relationship permutations than the above 4.
It's a 3D chart serialized on to 2D. Look at one of the corners, then go to the opposite one. Repeat twice more. The fact that this approach is basically fundamentally geometrically unsound doesn't help the chart's coherence. (Unless they really are claiming that these three things are in fact dependent on each other in exactly the way the 2 dimensionalization of the chart implies, which I doubt.)
The problem with boyfriend/girlfriend is that it seems strange to use the same term for a relationship in high school that lasts two months as you would for a relationship later on where you live with a person for years.
It does in some areas though. E.g. you have provisions like this one from the housing act, talking about when tenancies can be automatically transferred, on the death of one spouse, to the other one:
"a person who was living with the tenant as his or her wife or husband shall be treated as the tenant’s spouse, and a person who was living with the tenant as if they were civil partners shall be treated as the tenant's civil partner"
(Interestingly, an identical provision in another act - but with only the wife/husband language, as this was before civil partnerships - was used by the courts to give a similar benefit to a surviving member of a gay couple, using the non-discrimination provisions of the Human Rights Act to interpret the provision broadly to include gay couples living as partners (Ghaidan v Godin-Mendoza)).
and some places have the requirement of length of time and publicly stating that you are man and wife. This causes some to be very careful of saying wife for the sake of brevity. Girlfriend doesn't distinguish between a year and 5+ years, so many people will default to partner, better half, or significant other.
sure, but I've never know someone, when introducing their spouse, to say 'this is my common-law [husband|wife]'. Among other problems, it's quite awkward.
Hah yes, that's why I started switching to saying "Co-Founder", most non business people assuming you are a couple when you are two guys (or even a girl and a guy) and introduce the other as your partner.
Some people still give you weird glances and awkward pauses when you use it though.
In situations where it doesn't matter (and that's most of them) I've stopped correcting people who assume we're married and I've taken my partner's surname.
It actually makes things easier. If they assume you're married, they generally have no problem talking to you about whatever they called to talk to your partner about. When they find out you're not married, sometimes suddenly you can't be trusted.
But then it reinforces the belief there there aren't other options. Or rather, it does not show alternatives as more normal than one would assume. I guess that was the point of the article.
So a woman in her 50s is supposed to refer to her equally old significant other as her "boyfriend"? Seems odd to me. "Partner" seems more dignified and has a connotation of "in it for life".
I prefer "significant other" if the relationship (with any combination of genders and genitals) is more serious than "boyfriend/girlfriend" but not to the level of "husband/wife".
I don't know how common that is, or how it got started. I wonder whether it will ever catch on in the US?