Thank you for pointing out that the analogy is not perfect, there are fundamental differences (such as depression being a defined pathological condition and shame being an emotion ranging from healthy and useful to pathological). But I will not be surprised if you can see structural or biochemical differences in the brains of people suffering from pathological shame.
My main point in both the statements you quote is that "choosing to own it" is too hard or difficult for some people and, in practice, not an option although it is in theory. And perhaps it can become a realistic option with enough psychosocial support or psychotherapeuric treatment. It is not about wanting enough or being stupid, see e.g. borderline personality organization (not the disorder);
> Healthy people might have trouble visualizing what it is like to live with this "borderline" level of personality organization. Healthy people understand that who they are is not determined by a particular action, in a particular moment in time. They know that if they behave poorly one minute, this one bad behavior, in this one moment of time, does not define who they are. They are still able to recall all the wonderful things they have done in the past, and plan to do in the future. People with a fragmented sense of self are not so fortunate. If they just did something "bad," they literally become a bad person (i.e., they start representing themselves as an entirely bad person with no redeeming qualities). When this occurs, they can no longer access any of their good qualities. This is a terribly painful state to endure. (https://www.mentalhelp.net/personality-disorders/three-level...)
In general, we should be careful to tell others to just choose differently (I am not accusing you of this) as it may often be rephrased as just be someone else - which is possible in some regards, difficult in others, and impossible in many cases
My main point in both the statements you quote is that "choosing to own it" is too hard or difficult for some people and, in practice, not an option although it is in theory. And perhaps it can become a realistic option with enough psychosocial support or psychotherapeuric treatment. It is not about wanting enough or being stupid, see e.g. borderline personality organization (not the disorder);
> Healthy people might have trouble visualizing what it is like to live with this "borderline" level of personality organization. Healthy people understand that who they are is not determined by a particular action, in a particular moment in time. They know that if they behave poorly one minute, this one bad behavior, in this one moment of time, does not define who they are. They are still able to recall all the wonderful things they have done in the past, and plan to do in the future. People with a fragmented sense of self are not so fortunate. If they just did something "bad," they literally become a bad person (i.e., they start representing themselves as an entirely bad person with no redeeming qualities). When this occurs, they can no longer access any of their good qualities. This is a terribly painful state to endure. (https://www.mentalhelp.net/personality-disorders/three-level...)
In general, we should be careful to tell others to just choose differently (I am not accusing you of this) as it may often be rephrased as just be someone else - which is possible in some regards, difficult in others, and impossible in many cases