I feel your loss. My mother passed away a year ago. As a first son, I was close to her. As Denzel Washington said, "A Mother is a Son’s first true love". As a 50 year old, I thought I would be able to handle it well. But I didn't.
Here are somethings I learned:
- to mourn well, mourn deeply and privately: I deleted all social media apps. I cried. I spent time alone thinking of all the times that I spent with her. I eulogized, I wrote about her. I did everything to mourn deeply. That could be done only in private. I don't think you can mourn in public.
- follow tradition to mourn: I have been an anti-tradition person all along. But I found out tradition is useful to mourn. Every culture has traditions for mourning - in our case, going to grave, going to church, 3rd day mass etc.
- find your ways to express your grief. Some write, some sing, some sit amidst nature....
- it will never be over: a year has gone and there are days I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of everything she did for me and the moments we spent together.
Here are somethings I learned:
- to mourn well, mourn deeply and privately: I deleted all social media apps. I cried. I spent time alone thinking of all the times that I spent with her. I eulogized, I wrote about her. I did everything to mourn deeply. That could be done only in private. I don't think you can mourn in public.
- follow tradition to mourn: I have been an anti-tradition person all along. But I found out tradition is useful to mourn. Every culture has traditions for mourning - in our case, going to grave, going to church, 3rd day mass etc.
- find your ways to express your grief. Some write, some sing, some sit amidst nature....
- it will never be over: a year has gone and there are days I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of everything she did for me and the moments we spent together.
I wish you well.
If it helps: I wrote about my learning here: https://www.jjude.com/lessons-from-mourning/