Yea, hacker mindset is what I applied with Tinder. It worked wonders, went from 1 to 100 matches per month. I feel like having a hacker mindset with dating in general works wonders. Oh, and not having social anxiety of course.
I'll talk about the things I'm willing to post publicly (feel free to email me for what I can only say in private).
1. Get the BEST possible pictures of you. If your picture doesn't look like the best picture you've taken all year, don't use it. Just know that online dating is more about being photogenic and looking good in the perceptions of others than actually looking good. However, if you're unattractive IRL, make sure you have a way to compensate for that. I am a really playful person during dates and that lightens the mood a lot to the extent that some women start to see me as attractive but that's simply positive vibes being associated to my looks
2. Rate your pictures. I use photofeeler.com, there's also rankpick.info. You need at least 3 8.5 pictures, I barely got them after 50 well crafted/taken photos. My friends got them way quicker (I'm a tough case due to a cleft lip and small shoulders)
3. How to start a conversation: make a comment based on her pictures. It's the best trade-off between being original and writing a fast conversation starter. The more imaginative and creative you are, the better
4. Don't be standard. No "what are your hobbies?" style type of conversation
5. If you write a bio it has to pop. If your bio doesn't pop, just keep it short. Stuff that I had:
Cuddle champion of 2019 <-- just a playful eye catcher
Meditation for 2 hours per day <-- wasn't true (I did 1 hour per day but aimed for 2. All is fair in love & war)
city 1/city 2/ city 3/ city 4 <-- city 1 = home city, city 2 = city I'm currently nomadding at, city 3 & 4 = the cities I plan to go to or cities that just sound hip
Shout out to:
- Group of people you like #1 (e.g. artists)
- Group of people you like #2 (e.g. geeks)
- Group of people you like #3 (e.g. ambitious people)
--> Give fun names to them such as: creative people with an imagination, board game lovers and people that want to conquer the world
6. Pay for the service, don't let the free stuff limit you
My most successful opener by far was simply saying her name with followed by an exclamation mark. If she responded at all (almost always by my name followed by an exclamation mark), then it usually resulted in a lay. Other openers could very easily result in a waste of my time.
Thanks, those are all the pretty standard things I've read about as well, especially about optimizing photos. I had thought you did some advanced scraping and data analysis like the OkCupid guy above but regardless I'll email you.
I get it man. A part of me feels the same way. The practical part of me however decided just to get on with it
Online dating is toxic, and I fought it back with toxic and somehow through all of that I found my dream wife and I tol her all about what I did. She agreed that what I did was toxic, but that there's a "the means justify the end" ethics at play since we found each other
With that said: I don't think the dating scene should work this way. It's too much based on being photogenic and having beautiful looks. And this comes from someone who knows the ins and outs of training charisma and finding a potential partner that way (still possible but not in the initial steps of online dating)
It took a long time to not have that.