> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money.
Don't do this.
You need good pictures that convey attractiveness (looks, as well as personality). Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation hidden under a shell of an ego the shot tries to portray. So you end up relying on looks with a handicap. A good looking person doesnt need professional shots to show that.
Sure, if you currently have mirror selfies, professional shots are better. Otherwise - if you are not a model who has magazine-published shots you're including in your profile, then don't go use or pay for professional shots. Figure out how to take canned shots on your own or pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited).
But you absolutely should have someone who knows how to make you look as good as possible in a natural environment.
You should also have a woman friend critically evaluate your profile. (If you don't have a friend you trust, you should first make sure you can make trusted friends with women who will tell you the truth.)
I think this is meant to be funny, but what if you could stage your dating profile away from the apps and send to friends for review? Maybe have 5-10 of them?
My experience was different, it was more than a few years ago, but when I used it professional photo won by long shot. At the time there was an algorithm that would put your best picture first depending on like/dislike ratio. Some things I thought is that firstly no one knows you took those for this specific use case, they don't even assume that. Second is that it still indicates status in a sense that you had the money to spare to do it, the thought and time to go for it and possibly a good reason out of the app of needing that professional photo for some purpose. I didn't have mirror selfies, I thought I had what I consider well balanced set of photos showing different activities, etc.
>> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money.
> Don't do this.
> pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited).
So, instead of having my pictures taken by a professional photographer, you recommend that I pay a professional photographer to take my pictures?
I've heard of irrational bias against the passive voice, but this is extreme even in that genre.
English doesn't seem to be their first language. My interpretation of what they were saying is that if you don't have pro photos you are wasting your time, along with any money given to the app (not the photographer, who you didn't pay anyway)
I mean your response here is equally extreme if not clownish.
Do not pay for staged professional photos that convey exactly that.
If you do pay for photos, they should look _real_ like an actual photo taken with a phone while you are doing something. Way less processed, less uncanny vibes, less holding you suit button looking out into nowhere.
There's the "Sears" kind of photo where somebody unskilled works a camera installed in a studio which is not too expensive.
There's something a step up from that (maybe $100) where a pro photographer does the same thing.
I do environmental portraits, often with a 90mm or 135mm prime, sometimes with a wide zoom. Sometimes I discover places where I can get a great photograph of anybody in terms of lighting and background. It can be really special if you get a photo of somebody in an environment that's special to them but I don't think that's what you want for a dating site. But one of my generic environment shots would really be a winner, and I can shoot one in ten minutes inclusive of the walk to and from my office.
I'm not good at the people part of it. Some people photograph really well always (the alumni relations guy from my school, a disabled friend who might be high-functioning autistic) other people (me, my wife, my son) just don't. I can get a good photograph of somebody like that despite themselves but I have to try many sessions.
I've been doing sports photography seriously for about two years, lately I've come to see it as "people photography" and realized I do better if I think about it in terms of "getting pictures that make the players look great" as opposed to "following the ball". I am doing a volunteer gig that I'm treating as an audition for paying work and I'm planning to get a bunch of portraits out of it, so far as the technical stuff I went to the arena with my neurodivergent friend and used him as a stand-in. Now that I think about it I have two weeks to do something about the people side.
What you really want is candid pictures taken in good light with an 85mm lens. I had a few like that taken by friends and they were successful. Paying someone to take plandid pictures seems lame, but if you don't have a friend with a good camera then what are you going to do?
If a woman is using professional shots? Or a male? Either way -
For an attractive person: not much impact, though I think there is still a bit of a handicap depending on the type of person they are trying to attract and how much confidence plays into a valued trait for the other person. The same goes for how much of it seems ego-driven vs genuine.
For the average person: I mean you're simply limiting your pool. And potentially attracting personalities that look to exploit emotionally vulnerable people (the type willing to drop a lot of money on a photoshoot in hopes of getting more dates). As opposed to attracting the people they want to be dating.
I should say my advice is for younger adults. Im sure the dynamics of 45yo+ dating is much different.
This is where I say your pool becomes limited. You need potential-matches who (1) not only seek "serious" partners, but (2) are emotionally more receptive to the photos. I would suggest the latter as actually adding more pressure vs receptiveness...
I think there is a paradox of "seriousness" converting to less success on apps - even with both sides having mutual interests. Declaring your seriousness sets a very early expectation FOR STRANGERS. When Im connecting with a woman who has "life partner only" on her profile... I feel pressured, regardless of attraction. Even when I (and literally 99% of the world) desire that type of human connection.
This is why natural occurrences in person are touted for.
This is why rising kink apps are seeing success as well as a bit of a revival with tinder (here is all of me, no expectations, if you like it - cool, lets see where it goes)
> Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation.
Instinctively, I agree with you, but might this actually not be true anymore? I've noticed how "accepted" it is to share lots of selfies today, while before that used to be very obvious signs for self-absorbed/narcissistic/superficial/etc people, so I'm wondering if maybe we're both wrong thinking this today.
Maybe like how selfies became part of the modern social interaction, getting professional photographs for dating services might be entering the same phase too?
Don't do this.
You need good pictures that convey attractiveness (looks, as well as personality). Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation hidden under a shell of an ego the shot tries to portray. So you end up relying on looks with a handicap. A good looking person doesnt need professional shots to show that.
Sure, if you currently have mirror selfies, professional shots are better. Otherwise - if you are not a model who has magazine-published shots you're including in your profile, then don't go use or pay for professional shots. Figure out how to take canned shots on your own or pay a photographer for canned real shots (nothing highly edited).