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> It's not courtesy if it's non consensual

Good, so you agree that explicitly refusing to call someone what they want to be called is against common courtesy, since you are using a word to refer to a person that they have not consented to be called.

> but pragmatism would make it as logical as making all cars fit for one-armed people

If you could make all cars perfectly suitable for one-armed people for very low effort and without deteriorating the experience for two-armed people, you'd be an asshole not to do it. Just like a person tends to be an asshole if they refuse to call a person what they want to be called.

I generally go by my middle name. I have done so since before it was even my decision to do so, my parents made that decision for me and I have chosen to remain doing so. I have had multiple jobs where middle management and even co-workers would steadfastly refuse to use my middle name, instead trying to call for me by my first name that I have never listened for in my entire life. This continued even after speaking to them about it after them complaining that I didn't hear them call for me because they used the wrong name. That is the same level of assholery.



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