Last week, while seated at a restaurant, minding my own business, someone who didn't know me at all, called me a liar. I am a truthteller, (like Jeremy strives to be.) I have had it with people questioning my integrity. So, staring straight ahead, saying nothing, I removed my belt slowly and hung it loosely around my neck. People stared, nervously joked, and I said," Someone needs a spanking." The namecaller changed their tune then, and approached me apologetically, with arms outstretched beckoning a hug, as if to mock my vulnerability.
I responded by accepting the hug, but returned the hug with the energy of a love bomb, a squeeze like I had just had my missing child returned to my arms. The energy of that hug penetrated the namecaller and the whole room. We separated, both a little surprised. The namecaller and I are now friends.
Here is my gift to you: learn The Rules of Communication: no defensiveness, no contemptuousness, no personal criticism (behaviors only), no withdrawal. It is truly amazing how observing these fundamental communication no-no's builds trust. Even feuding siblings can stop their fighting by following these rules.
