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What would being unkind accomplish here?


It's not about being unkind, it's about not being kind; these are not the same.

Being kind to a person that behaves as described in the grandparent comment could communicate that you find this kind of behavior helpful. Fine if that's really the case; problematic for everyone if not.


Kindness and enabling are also not the same thing.

This entire discussion needs to come to a screeching halt while people get together and hammer out some definitions. It's clear we're all working from different and contradictory assumptions about what these words mean.


I think people are conflating “kind” with a range of other behaviors. You can be kind while addressing poor performance, etc. You address the behavior, you might even have to fire someone, but those are not incompatible with kindness - if you’ve given someone ample opportunity, and clarity, then you’ve been kind. It’s unkind to let someone get to the point of firing without being clear that their job is at risk. It’s not unkind to take action when their performance threatens the organization, team, etc.

I think most people would agree Fred Rogers was kind - but I have to imagine he had to fire people from the show over the course of its run.


What would be kind accomplish there?


Not being an asshole in your own eyes. If that's not worth anything to you, then Idk, guess we live on different planets.


Not make things worse, for example? Or maybe it can help convey the message across and make things better?




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