My dad has an habit of making an innocent remark that other party percives as offensive. He blurts out things in his enthusiasm. I used to feel second hand embarssement from it when i was younger.

Now i see catch myself doing the same thing. I even got into trouble at work for it.

I have this. I don’t notice it. People must think I’m really socially stupid. I try to say things that I think are commonly-shared. Then, in every group, out of nowhere (it’s only months later that I remember what may have triggered it), I’m expelled (generally for another reason, because it would be too simple if people said “I don’t like you because…”).

I’m 40 and since 4 years, my solution is to recluse myself and meet as few people as I can, with people who get over my defect.

I must be able to do something about it, but it requires tremendous effort. Basically I have to try to remain silent and innocuous as much as I can, and guess people. It’s hell.

I think mainstream culture used to be more tolerant of people saying unintentionally hurtful things. And that cultural change puts at an disadvantage individuals who have higher autistic traits, impulsivity, etc. Whereas, people at the opposite end of the personality trait spectrum aren’t disadvantaged by it to anywhere near the same degree

I have something similar but it's mostly just tended to mean that I socialise with others who don't take themselves too seriously.

Life's too short to waste on those who don't appreciate you. :)

same here. once i had children i recognized some of the behavior traits of how my dad treated me and my siblings. the difficult ones are the ones done unconsciously. i didn't recognize some until i saw my own kids repeating them. my wife also at one point recognized behaviors she learned from her parents. this recognition helped us both to better understand each other and accept our respective quirks.