I used to opt out (before I got TSA pre). When you're standing at the rapey scan and they tell you to go through, just say "opt out". Then they'll exhale loudly, roll their eyes, and yell "opt out". Then you stand around for a couple minutes while they find somebody to give you an old handy. They'll read you their spiel and ask if you want a private room (I assume that involves a happy ending). Then they ask if you have any sensitive areas, do a half-assed job of patting down your upper body, run their hands up and down your legs, and wipe their gloves to test for bombs or farts or whatever.
I vaguely remember the yelling "opt out" in the early days of the porn scanners, but I don't think they do this at most airports any more.
I think you might be taking the agents' reactions more personally than they are intended: I'm sure that the TSA agents aren't necessarily happy because you're adding a task to their plate, and in busy airports they already have a lot going on, so it's understandably visible that they're stressed. But every one I've interacted with has kept it more professional than an eye roll.
Remember, the agents themselves are just not-all-that-well-paid workers. They aren't the cause of the problem.
