Oof yeah, this is tough. I have done some fostering of kittens and on the whole I highly recommend it; it's a great way to have kittens in the home without committing to long term adoption, and it helps out shelters that really need the help. But this part of it is tough. Feline lukemia and other terminal illnesses are not uncommon with shelter cats and it sure hurts to lose them.

It's crazy how fast they go down hill. Go from like just fine to holocaust skinny in 2 months. Brutal to watch, especially hard when the kittens die or dissappear. I had 2 tabbies that were born this year. One had a white tipped tail and the other a black tipped. I loved them both but loved black tipped the most.

She would sit in my arms and purr just staring in my eyes. So cute. Then one day it got run over. Not much you can do really.

In a very weird and minor way it gave me insight into why losing a child during pregnancy or very young is so painful. I always thought "What's the big deal? You just have another one".

I mean I wouldn't say that to people but that's just how it seemed to me. But then with the cats some had great personalities or super soft coats and I was so looking forward to petting them and playing with them when they got older. Then they died and there is a bit of a hole.

Obviously this is nothing compared to a human life, but it made more sense now. You have a child and you think about their first day of school, how you will dress them, what their interests are, what special skills they have.

It gave me a lot more insight into what it's like to be a parent and lose a child and how devastating that probably is.