Fun fact: I'm currently through an interview process that has lasted 11 weeks so far, including 12 discussions, 1 system design, 2 coding, 3 behavioral. The employer has informed me several times that they intend to make an offer and that my salary expectations are within their range... but they've been postponing the offer for 3 weeks now and clarified yesterday that they want me to profess that I'm more interested in them than in any other offer I have or might receive before they make an offer.
FWIW, it's a fairly large tech company that pretty much everyone on HN has heard of.
As someone who has been in the other side of the table , I'm totally confident that they have another candidate and are dragging until they confirm their acceptance or rejection .
That, or there was 'something' that made them not pull the trigger with you, and they are waiting to interview more candidates.
I'll suggest to keep looking elsewhere,FAST, even if you get another shitty offer, you then can send them an "ultimatum" telling them about your other shitty offer.
I'd have called time a long time ago. It sounds like you're their fallback and they've been stringing you along (the way I read it). I don't know what more they'd want beyond you saying you'll accept their job offer for the terms already discussed. I'd time limit it as you have already wasted enough time with them. 12 discussions? I don't think so.
You have the right to confirm likely salary offer after interview number two.
Unfortunately there’s a really strange thing that happens in very long interview processes, is the employer starts to think something is wrong because the process has taken so long, despite the process being driven by them.
Anyhow, to your situation…. It is now an employers market and some of them need to feel loved.
So you should effusively tell them that you love the company and love the job.
Well, I pretty much told them that 2 weeks ago. If they want more than that... I'm not sure what else I can do. Right now, I'm actually starting to ponder whether I should tell them "no", because it starts to feel like a red flag.
One thing I have learned from Krav Maga, you don't act passive or submissive unless you are about to kick someone in the groin and smash them in the face.
You are missing out though as putting job ads together isn't an exact science. You are looking for somebody with certain skills but often somebody with a lot of experience and a higher level comes along who would make an excellent addition to the team. In that case the hiring manager will redefine the role to accommodate the individual. It's happened to me so it's real.
Gather all job offers worthy of your application. List them on a document with: company name, short description, link to the offer, a link to an archived copy (sorted by interestingness, they go at the top: published 15 weeks ago)
Put a table under each where each row represents your steps though their process, columns are mostly time stamps, offer published, time elapsed since previous step, time since publication. When you've added it to the document, when you've applied, when they responded, when the interview was (if any) Final row (if any) should describe why you rejected the offer.
If you just didn't get hired the entry may be removed.
Put a version number on the document and a pass-worded link to the most recent version.
FWIW, it's a fairly large tech company that pretty much everyone on HN has heard of.