I think things were going that way for a while, but in recent generations (millenial and Z) this is going the opposite way where the third place is emerging again.

So many people I know are doing stuff, like joining a pickup soccer league, rock climbing, board gaming, video gaming, gardening, surfing, knitting, hacking, making, etc. All of these interests come with their own new circle of friends you meet, who I then meet through knowing you when you invite your soccer team to your birthday party. People will keep up these things even when they have kids.

My parents generation never seemed to do any of this. They were contented with basically not socializing or engaging much beyond what they already knew, never taking personal trips or even eating out even though they can afford it, just staying busy with the house making tasks for themselves, since there is really no limit of potential repairs or projects to do around a house if you don't limit yourself (e.g. you don't need to polish the floors that many times a year). In my generation it seems like everyone has something they are really into that isn't work or their immediate family. You see this starting to shift how these suburban towns you grew up in look like, too. Main street suburbia is no longer dead antique shops. There's now an arthouse cinema, axe throwing, duck pin bowling, and a brewery.

> In my generation it seems like everyone has something they are really into that isn't work or their immediate family.

Not all zoomers. I pretty much confine myself to work, lurking online, occasional periods of HN commenting, drinking, and the occasional walk or hike. Just biding my time and collecting my tech TC. When I get into late 20s and am rich, then I'll think about doing those things.

> Main street suburbia is no longer dead antique shops. There's now an arthouse cinema, axe throwing, duck pin bowling, and a brewery.

I always hear junior tech workers and interns saying how much they do these rock climbing/top golf/etc. type of activities. I always assumed they were signaling. Maybe it's great and more people should try axe throwing.

>When I get into late 20s and am rich, then I'll think about doing those things.

This is pretty unhealthy honestly. As I got out of my early 20s my worldview on a lot of this sort of "hole up and just grind, rest later" has changed a lot. Who knows what your late 20s will be like? I've seen them end up going all sorts of ways for different people. Maybe you will end up with some expensive medical condition, maybe you will just be older and not have the body you had in the early 20s. Some of your friends and loved ones will have died by then, you might even die, who knows? Live today for today, because there's no guarantee for a tomorrow. If this lifestyle makes you happy then by all means do what makes you happy, since avoiding stress is very important to a healthy long life, but don't ever defer enjoyment or happiness to some later time you assume will happen.

> [your lifestyle] is pretty unhealthy honestly

I still vaguely remember this discussion from Walden from when I read it 10 years ago:

> "I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.

> The farmer can work alone in the field or the woods all day, hoeing or chopping, and not feel lonesome, because he is employed; but when he comes home at night he cannot sit down in a room alone, at the mercy of his thoughts, but must be where he can “see the folks,” and recreate, and as he thinks remunerate himself for his day’s solitude...

> ... He wonders how the student can sit alone in the house all night and most of the day without ennui and “the blues;” but he does not realize that the student, though in the house, is still at work in his field, and chopping in his woods, as the farmer in his, and in turn seeks the same recreation and society that the latter does, though it may be a more condensed form of it.

> Consider the girls in a factory,—never alone, hardly in their dreams. It would be better if there were but one inhabitant to a square mile, as where I live. The value of a man is not in his skin, that we should touch him.

There is more than one way to live, and it's not a sickness not to eagerly participate in social axe throwing et. al. I think it's great that some people like it. But I don't think not doing it is missing too much. Life is long.

I'm not telling you to go throw axes if that's what you aren't into. I was just honing in on your point that you'd make time for your life after you are older and rich, and how that isn't a great mindset because things can sometimes change dramatically from your expectations. That's all. Again, if you are happy with how you live your life, by all means, its just that your initial comment indicated to me that you were perhaps putting off some happiness and living for a later date that comes with expectations that might not get met. Life is long, if you luck out and live long, but you will learn eventually how temporary life and good health really are.

As someone who did what you talk about for quite some time, life is not long. There is a reason that carpe diem is a durable enough phrase to have survived millennia.

It has a long tail but all the fat is in the beginning.

Depends on how you live life. I have seen people even in their 60s and 70s have a very rich life, especially as money can buy things that are usually not accessible for those in their 20s who are still building their wealth.

Hopefully, I think the generation after Gen-Z will rebel against a lot of that on your list. I'm already noticing my nieces and nephews make a point to spend time with their real-life friends even when their parents are glued to their phones.

They are a generation who collectively "lost" a year because of zoom home schooling and so they all seem to make a point to have other outside activities to connect with their friends on. I know most of us had that too, but for some reason it seems more important to them than it did even for me.

> - Needlessly intense working conditions and / or working remotely has taken away the "second place", where you would typically "hang out" with your co-workers.

> - The digital age has moved the location of many common past-times from a public "third place" to your private bedroom.

Rent a co-working space with your friends!

This hurt to read because it's so true. Not sure there's any good solution to these though as they ultimately stem from changing socioeconomic pressures.

The problem imo is simply that there is no need for "rallying points" anymore.

Before cellphones, I had to go hang out at the coffee shop if I wanted to catch my friends in person so we could all go do something.

Before the internet, I had to go to the coffee shop and read event flyers off of the community board if I wanted to find out what was happening around town.

The coffee shop became a hub of social activity in and of itself partly out of necessity, and it was awesome. I had probably a hundred friends back then and they were all just people who hung out at the coffee shop.

Nowadays everyone can just veg out in their pod until their friends call them on-demand. The result is missing out on all the opportunities to make friends by accident.

And with ChatGPT, you don't even need real friends.

"Your friends have been bad friends. I have been a good Bing."

Friend me now!