Another pearl of his is to be "profuse in your praise". Even if it risks sounding empty or pure flattery, because it always leaves a good impression and works.
Profuse praise is so weird and off-putting to be a recipient of. I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe this was true however many years ago but it doesn't feel true all the time today.
The man who gave that advice also paired it with being authentic: "Give honest and sincere appreciation."
That advice was actually given in the context of a supervisor or superior working to improve a report: 'Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”'
So in context, its about noticing the things you as a person like about people and vocalizing them, and separately drawing attention to when someone improves. Pretty sound advice
If you read the actual book, its as much about not being a bore, and how not to piss people off. Some people take the advice in it WAY too far, and that's when it comes across as off-putting and inauthentic.
Nothing spikes my anxiety like when my supervisor out of nowhere starts to praise little things that don't matter (especially when the thing being praised is not new and has not changed).
Because you know they took the compliment sandwich advice to heart, and the other shoe is about to drop.
I’ve apparently been doing this for a long time without noticing. I just like telling people that appreciate them or reminding them that they’re doing well, etc!
Had no idea it had a name or “strategy” associated with it… I just like other people to know when they’re having a positive impact on me (or something else). And people always seem to like knowing that, and get into a better mood in response!
Edit: maybe I’m not understanding the concept very well, and “profuse praise” the strategy is more belligerent than I thought
Also, if you are of the personality type/disposition that this doesn't work on, don't underestimate the huge percentage of people on which it does work.
It needs to be subtle. So maybe "profuse" is the wrong word.
For example, throwing in phrases like "with your experience, you would know that..." or "that thing you said was hilarious" make people feel good, hopefully while also being true. This is a huge part of likeability.
I wonder if this works because true-ringing praise has to be about the particular person, and the production of it demonstrates that you're paying (sole) attention to them, and the attention is what causes them to enjoy the interaction, not necessarily the praise itself. If so, "active listening" might produce the same results.
I mean, i suspect its because true ringing praise doesn't come with strings. Inauthentic praise is often used as a strategy to manipulate someone into doing what you want.
