> I say this not to guilt you into being grateful, but to remind you that you seem to have a lot of goodness in your life.
Sure, I agree. There is a lot of good in my life.
What seems to cause dissonance is how my life still feels like shit, despite all those good things. The answer I most often hear to this is "well, if you practiced more gratitude, you'd appreciate those things" - which feels like the old religious cliche of "if God doesn't help you, you aren't praying/believing enough".
But to ask a concrete question - how would you describe the "activity" of practicing gratitude to, say, a child who's never heard of such a phrase? Is it just the act of pointing out "good" things about your life to yourself, or is there anything more to it?
I completely understand how you feel regarding the dissonance, because I can also feel the same way. Sometimes depression makes it easy to "rationally know" you have a lot to be grateful for, but it can somehow be twisted against oneself and turned into shame. Practicing gratitude can help you to learn how to allow yourself to feel happiness and contentment.
In an ELI5-type answer: "Practicing" gratitude involves actively noticing your feelings of appreciation for something good in your life. That something good may be a meal, a relationship, overcoming an challenge, etc.
For an adult beginner a gratitude journal is a great place to start! You can purchase one, like the "6-Minute Journal" or you can grab a blank piece of paper and pick a prompt from this pdf[1]. Pick a prompt: "Something beautiful I saw today..." "A fun experience I had..." "Someone I admire.." and spend a few minutes writing about that. Write in your journal 2-3 times a week. That's it!
A way to explain the activity to a child could be: "Mention three good things that happened today". There are no rules, you can mention anything that you consider to be good. Do it every day.
I didn't come up with this and obviously cannot say if it would work for you. Look up "Three Good Things" if you're curious about the theory.
Sure, I agree. There is a lot of good in my life.
What seems to cause dissonance is how my life still feels like shit, despite all those good things. The answer I most often hear to this is "well, if you practiced more gratitude, you'd appreciate those things" - which feels like the old religious cliche of "if God doesn't help you, you aren't praying/believing enough".
But to ask a concrete question - how would you describe the "activity" of practicing gratitude to, say, a child who's never heard of such a phrase? Is it just the act of pointing out "good" things about your life to yourself, or is there anything more to it?