It’s not like that though. Some of the most impressive people I’ve met got where they are by having your mindset, not by being “a Carmack” (coding machine). I’d like to think I had some impact in the areas I focused on, and my output wasn’t much more than yours, in all likelihood. It was just focused, and I was in love with the programming part.

I think you’re selling yourself short. Don’t count yourself out as someone who can impact the areas you want to.

I’m glad your life is stable now — if you ever need some encouragement in the future, DM me! Always happy to.