> Do not ignore inter-personal conflict. It will only fester, it will never get better. Your job is to manage the people, including their relationships.
And this is why I was a bad manager. I'm bad enough at managing my own relationships let alone other peoples.
I wanted the position. I thought it would be a very different experience than it ended up. I had no idea how much of my time was going to be taken up by people complaining about other people's seemingly minor actions. I am not the right person to deal with that.
Most stressful year of my life, I hope to never have to go back to management.
Honestly, though, I wish more people had the self-awareness that you had. That's a good first step to becoming a good manager. I also wish more technically minded people would get into management. It's all systems, when you boil it down.
I would also ask that you not rule it out. Honestly, if managing relationships was the only part that you had a hard time with, you can learn that. Overcoming the stress and anxiety of managing conflict and confrontation is all about exposure to it.
My work life, in managing all of the (in my opinion) petty nonsense, helped my home life. It certainly prepared me for having open and honest conversations with my children about playground nonsense.
Not only inter-personal conflicts, but the higher you go on the reporting hierarchy, the more your task becomes managing the institutional politics. And the more your task becomes telling people what to do and requesting they get it done.
There's a kind of person that is good on those three things. I am not that kind of person; I imagine I can learn it, but it will never be easy.
And this is why I was a bad manager. I'm bad enough at managing my own relationships let alone other peoples.
I wanted the position. I thought it would be a very different experience than it ended up. I had no idea how much of my time was going to be taken up by people complaining about other people's seemingly minor actions. I am not the right person to deal with that.
Most stressful year of my life, I hope to never have to go back to management.