This sarcasm is unbecoming. Client side filtering absolutely is not a panacea for “safe” end to end encryption. It is a cop in your pocket. Dystopia. The UK can continue making up its own reality if it wishes, strong encryption is the only way forward.
Apple's plan was awful. How about there be no scanning at all? If you don't want your stuff scanned then don't put it on icloud or encrypt it before you put it there. I personally don't want scan-all-the-things policing software put on any of my devices. That should require a warrant at the least.
That's why you fire your representative and get a new one. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don't bend on this or they will break you later. The US government is already heading towards fascism with Trump's likely win in 2024, we don't need to speed it along.