Despite what my contract says, if my employer asks for my personal projects, I'm quitting the same minute and we can work out the remaining details over email. I guess if they push and threaten enough I will eventually hand over the code.

But in such a scenario, I'm not a loser. If I'm capable of writing software that my former company cares that much about, I'm winning. I'll hand over my Haskell code, laugh at the thought of them trying to understand it, purge all copies I posses, and immediately begin rewriting it in another language and under another anonymous profile.