They already tag everything, just search for any object in your photos library (wether you are on iOS or even Android with Google Photos) and it will find it.

Buy a dumphone with J2ME support, install just the minimal stuff. TXT reader (on a PC with Linux/BSD/OSX this can generate a TXT file from an EPUB):

       #!/bin/sh
       #epub.sh
       unzip -qcp "$1" "*ml" "*.htm"  | lynx -force-html -dump -stdin -nolist > "$2"

[ Usage: epub.sh file.epub file.txt ]

MP3 player, simple HTML browser, FM radio (it's nice often), Gopher (there are a few J2ME browsers, and there are lots of nice stuff out there). For gaming, IF thru the T9 kbd it's effective, or a GB emulator with custom ROMs (itch.io has several free and a lot of games are long and turn based).

Use a smartphone for work and for nothing else. If any, the news over a dumb web interface, as these will run on current dumbphone with ease:

https://lite.cnn.io

https://text.npr.org

http://68k.news

Have fun.

I hadn't realized the implications until you brought this up. Thank you. That's... disconcerting?

On iOS this is done on-device. Apple provides the model(s), and while your phone is charging and asleep it classifies your photos.

I can’t find an extended explanation right now, but they say as much under the photos heading on their privacy page: https://www.apple.com/privacy/

I can't wait until photos of marvel movies get deleted and you get a warning for breaking copyright.