I've been working alongside network engineers for thirty years in a variety of ISP, IXP, RIR, corporate, carrier, DC and public cloud environments, and do not recognise the people you are describing. These colleagues run the usual gamut of human personalities, but invariably the most respected and senior contributors are those that enable others through sharing their knowledge and experience. They were never anything but helpful and patient even when I was just getting started and full of basic questions about BGP and mixing up my fibre modes.
However, I have also contributed to Stack Overflow and managed IRC channels and servers. The negative traits you've described do correlate to the hostile attitudes endemic within many StackExchange and IRC communities. They are not correlated to my workplace experience of network engineers.
There’s definitely a personality type that is attracted to networking and security who is motivated by control. Usually the end up in management roles. I’ve run into my share of people like this, more so than with software people.
On the whole, network engineers are a cool bunch though. They’re often called in to make stuff work without any real background or understanding of wtf is going on in advance. As a profession, they don’t get the respect they are do.
People do all kinds of things for different reasons, and when talking about large groups -- network engineers, security professionals, &c -- you really can't boil down the group and distill the traits of the individual.
Early in my career, when I did a mixture of systems administration and security, my mentor on both of those things was a super-chill, skinny-as-they-come mega-pothead. Exact opposite of a control freak.
Dude was wicked smart, though, and the security mindset that he helped me build has paid dividends over the years.
Personally, I went into management precisely because I worked for a few "control freak" types, and felt that I had a sort of moral duty to build teams free of that sort of environment, even if it meant that I had to swap my text editor for a calendar.
I know many other managers with a similar backstory. None of us want to be the PHB.
As an aside, if anyone reading this is looking at management: look to nudge, rather than control. We learn by making mistakes, and sometimes, you actually do need a report -- or maybe even the entire team! -- to make a mess and clean it up, because the process of doing so will make them stronger, and will benefit your organization in the medium-to-long term.
As with all things, there are trade-offs to be made and balances to be struck! But one of the biggest mistakes I see new managers make is investing the bulk of their energy in preventing mistakes, instead of building a team that can recover-and-adapt quickly.
(Also, a nit, which you might not have noticed: "respect they are due")
However, I have also contributed to Stack Overflow and managed IRC channels and servers. The negative traits you've described do correlate to the hostile attitudes endemic within many StackExchange and IRC communities. They are not correlated to my workplace experience of network engineers.