People go where the jobs are. They are going to live wherever employers "insist on" locating their offices.
20% down payment isn't a myth; if you don't put 20% down (and don't have some special situation like a VA loan) you have to pay for private mortgage insurance which can be hundreds per month, as you're buying the lender insurance against the possibility of you defaulting on your loan.
Depending on your situation, PMI may be worth it. For example I was paying 1200 a month for a 1 br apartment. They wanted to up it to 1500 a month. Instead I bought a house with 5% down. The total monthly payment for a 200k house, including PMI, is 1,100 a month.
Even with PMI I am still paying less than living in the same apartment year over year.
PMI is reasonable. I put down 5% on my first home, (<$20k) and commuted via train. Just get a cell modem and do your morning work rituals (email, news, etc) on the train. I sold that house 3 years later at 13.5% appreciation, with good equity on top. I used all of that towards the down payment on house #2.
Commute in from a small investment home/condo to let equity + appreciation get you into the home you want a few years down the road. Even in my starter, I got twice the sqft for the same monthly as my not-very-close apt.
20% down payment isn't a myth; if you don't put 20% down (and don't have some special situation like a VA loan) you have to pay for private mortgage insurance which can be hundreds per month, as you're buying the lender insurance against the possibility of you defaulting on your loan.