- When she or I are upset, name the emotion at the earliest opportunity, e.g. "Hey, what you said back there hurt me, and I'm kind of embarrassed to be hurt by something like that but that's how I'm feeling right now..."
- This sounds like a bunch of whiny nonsense, but we've both found it takes a lot of heat out of a situation, and avoids a snide or sarcastic comment that might make things worse later. This is the slow-burn kinda situation.
- Sometimes there's no time to think about that and one of us just exclaims in anger or hurt about something. I don't know what to do about that; it just means there's a lot of work to do afterwards.
- Good luck :)
Edit: oh yeah, this assumes you're both ok having a difficult conversation in the first place. If implied criticism is a no-go zone, then... I wish you even more luck :)
Here's what we're trying
- When she or I are upset, name the emotion at the earliest opportunity, e.g. "Hey, what you said back there hurt me, and I'm kind of embarrassed to be hurt by something like that but that's how I'm feeling right now..."
- This sounds like a bunch of whiny nonsense, but we've both found it takes a lot of heat out of a situation, and avoids a snide or sarcastic comment that might make things worse later. This is the slow-burn kinda situation.
- Sometimes there's no time to think about that and one of us just exclaims in anger or hurt about something. I don't know what to do about that; it just means there's a lot of work to do afterwards.
- Good luck :)
Edit: oh yeah, this assumes you're both ok having a difficult conversation in the first place. If implied criticism is a no-go zone, then... I wish you even more luck :)