> Point is, have fun. Don't be a walking talking wikipedia page of logical facts.
This is sort of what I am. I think it started long ago maybe when I felt as if this is one way I can provide value: to give you facts.
I'm aware that this is a problem, in that by doing this I'm not really engaged in a back-and-forth conversation -- I've been aware of this for some time, it's just that it's hard to transition away from this. I don't know how to do this, because this is who I am now, and changing who I am, that’s a deep change to make, it is hard, and I don’t know how I can do this.
Maybe I can help convince you to make the change...
It might be useful to -- consider that your information is... not useful.
By this I mean that you should be interested in how people react to new information in general. In some cases, people take this information and act on it. In most cases, they don't. It's very hard to convince someone, especially a stranger, to do something differently just by providing them new information.
Don't take my word for it. You don't even need to look to others to find the truth to this. Just look to yourself.
How often do you tangibly change your actions based on new information? I'm sure you have some less than desirable habits, and I'm sure you have know enough information to know that these habits are not helpful. Yet, even with this information, have you changed these habits?
I am similar. I sometimes struggle to engage in conversation... I'd rather just walk away and do something interesting to me. And this is fine, you don't need to always engage in conversation. But when you do, it shouldn't be to just dump information on people. This isn't effective. Even with people who you have close, intimate relationships with... it's even hard to change these people. Even if you do have the right information, it needs to be delivered with patience. You can't expect them to change overnight. You can't even expect them to change at all. If you want to tell someone something, you must do it with compassion, and expect that if they are going to take this information from you, it will be on their own time.
Sure, but one shouldn't feel obligated to provide value. Providing intellectual stimulation when unasked for immediately marks one (to the lay person) as the proverbial know-it-all. Their body language will speak magnitudes; just watch the direction of their feet. Anything more than 30 degrees away from your direction will indicate they are not interested in the service you think you may be providing.
You must gain confidence. Have confidence in yourself, and you will find others will do the difficult conversational parts for you. The quickest way to gain confidence is to learn to lift compound weights and to increase the weight over the years.
An alternative view on this is to realize that being a non-judgemental sounding board often provides much greater value to your conversation partner than offering advice. I often find that people who are having trouble with something already know what the best solution is and simply need to build up enough confidence in their own reasoning to act on it.
This is sort of what I am. I think it started long ago maybe when I felt as if this is one way I can provide value: to give you facts.
I'm aware that this is a problem, in that by doing this I'm not really engaged in a back-and-forth conversation -- I've been aware of this for some time, it's just that it's hard to transition away from this. I don't know how to do this, because this is who I am now, and changing who I am, that’s a deep change to make, it is hard, and I don’t know how I can do this.