I loved living in Warsaw. I have been trying to get back there for some time now but things just keep falling apart. Because of my health and associated losses I jut cannot do it alone or normally, and there is zero chance applying for asylum would be successful. I know to many Poles that sounds absurd. It wasn't paradise, the grass wasn't really "greener", it was just home to me in a way I cannot explain and my heart and those I loved were left there. Instead I end in rural American hell...which is just the perfectly wrong place.