I get what you’re saying, and I don’t think you’re entirely wrong — you build trust by doing your job well, repeatedly. But it’s also a demonstrated fact (and almost a tautology) that people trust people that they like, and chit-chat is a great way to move from “stranger” to “friendly acquaintance.” If you eat lunch with someone once a week, they’ll think you’re better at your job. That’s not an anecdote, that’s a repeatedly confirmed facet of human social psychology.

You are completely right, for all our history of working in the same buildings, in person.

This changes though when you move to different floors. At some point you might be working more with someone that is on the other side of the street that the person next to you. Will you trust them less because you don't see them everyday ? Will you be worse at your job because of the lack of chit-chatting ?

Perhaps, but it's something that you'll need to work on, otherwise your job is just doomed. So people adapt, catch up once in a while but everyday chit chat just becomes less essential.

Then you work with people on other buildings. You have a remote contractor. You have an office in another country.

20 years ago those were extreme scenarii. Now I think people are expected to be productive and efficient in these conditions.

The cherry on top doesn't make a difference between 2 otherwise identical pieces of crap (or shouldn't, at least...). But it will make a difference between 2 otherwise identical cakes.

Chit chat is also a form of self promotion or publicity. People are more likely to notice you delivered instead of "it was delivered" if they know you. Don't rely exclusively on your immediate manager to promote you to everyone else. They may not have the time for that and it's unlikely they'll say "John/Jane delivered" if nobody around knows who those people are.

> it will make a difference between 2 otherwise identical cakes.

If we go into "all else equal" territory, you could get a promotion and not neighbour because you created your dog an instagram account that your boss likes.

Or you could have built a Minecraft world that was pretty cool when your coworkers checked it from one of your sns profiles.

Or you could be the only one not annoying your boss all day long, and they show their appreciation on bonus day.

Or your release announcement mails have funny gifs.

Or your have a name that's easily remembered.

Or really anything. I think the goal to build trust and reputation is for things to not be equal and not have to play weird games of popularity.

Don't get me wrong, communication is key, but chit chat is a single very specific form of communication, among so many others.

I think in any decent organisation you get better ROI from having good written communication than top of the game chitchat, if you had to focus your attention somewhere. If chitchat is an important part of your professional life, I hope it's by choice and you're not just stuck in a company you hate.

None of the reasons you wrote are nearly as reasonable as your boss(es) seeing you as a reasonable person, a team player, etc. as evidenced by your open discussions. Some things they can't glean just from the fact that you solved a ticket quickly.

Yours looks more like a list of ridiculous, implausible but of course still technically possible reasons. As a boss I'd like to know if the person I'm promoting is willing to come up with such arguments in an attempt to prove a point. ;)

Where I work, chitchat during lunch break is main communication bus. Since I am preparing my food at home, I don’t go to the canteen and I am the black sheep in the office. I am the last one to get the news. It’s seriously wrong, because there are no written agreements at all.

...so go to the canteen anyway and talk while you eat together? I can think of plenty of times where a shared lunch with some co-workers was a mix of people bringing food and buying from the cafe.

Having agreements in writing is important for reference. Being present for their creation (and therefore having a say as it takes shape) is worth it.

You are perfectly right, in that this is a real thing.

Lunches are not just food intake, and being there or not will have an effect on your work life.

I personally feel it’s something that should be more explicited. It goes well along shared bathroom breaks, cigarette breaks, after hours drinking, golf on week-ends.

We all draw the line somewhere different on wether we are willing to do it or not, but it should at least be made clearer this is part of work and not some fun ride. We make it clear with our family or partners, it should be clear on the company side as well.

Note: eating with friends that happen to work at the same place is yet another matter, that’s not what I am pointing at

You are right, I should do it. It’s very important to participate in office politics and decision making process. I think, other companies have separate meetings for this. But I am not going to stay here for 5 years.

I can 100% guarantee you that if you find yourself at a company that has a dining room available for lunch, business planning will happen there, one way or another. It is human nature to discuss things while breaking bread.

That chit chat can be about “delivering, being consistent, and helping out.”