That's a prime example of poor IM skills. Messaging someone "hey" is a productivity killer, as you said, for the reasons you said, which is why you just shouldn't do it.
Healthy IM communication should go a little more like this:
Working, working... beep
alt-tab
"Hey, are you working on bug #1234, or does someone else have it?"
"I'm working on #415, so someone else has it."
alt-tab
working, working... beep
alt-tab
"Do you happen to know where the Davidson account files went? I can't find them anywhere :/"
"No, sorry. Maybe try the Z: drive?"
alt-tab
And if you don't want to be interrupted by anything except critical things, set "do not disturb" mode.
This exactly. If I'm doing concentration heavy work, I'll mute IM and batch respond when I get water/bathroom. I also have toasts on a side screen so `hey` messages I can quickly read and ignore without losing focus. IM is only as distracting as you let it be, and it's relatively easy to make it no worse than email.
Healthy IM communication should go a little more like this:
Working, working... beep
alt-tab
"Hey, are you working on bug #1234, or does someone else have it?"
"I'm working on #415, so someone else has it."
alt-tab
working, working... beep
alt-tab
"Do you happen to know where the Davidson account files went? I can't find them anywhere :/"
"No, sorry. Maybe try the Z: drive?"
alt-tab
And if you don't want to be interrupted by anything except critical things, set "do not disturb" mode.