get spivaks calculus. Took me months to get though chapter 1 :D, but gave me through understanding of how to think about maths and how to prove stuff and that proof are the real fun of math. If you can't prove it, you don't understand it.
I have no idea why someone would have down-voted you - Spivak is brilliant. It's not really about calculus, it's really about Real Analysis, and it's excellent.
