Thank you so much for this recommendation! I tried an audiobook version once before but felt like I was missing a lot of context. This looks very promising (and is on spotify)!
I highly recommend I Don’t Want To Talk About It by Terry Real or The Will To Change by bell hooks (which extensively cites the former) on this topic. We don’t talk enough about the harm patriarchy inflicts on boys and men through emotional neglect and detachment.
Can you write a paragraph on what patriarchy is and what the harm it inflicts on boys is? Preferably without referring to emotional neglect or detachment but explaining the underlying mechanism itself?
Ideologies are not something you are, people are not patriarchy-ists. Ideologies are something you do, which means people act in a patriarchal way, likely based on ideological reasons, often without ever consciously thinking about the underlying ideology. To better understand patriarchy, what are some examples of people "doing" patriarchy?
> Ideologies are something you do, which means people act in a patriarchal way, likely based on ideological reasons, often without ever consciously thinking about the underlying ideology.
I think the emotional neglect and detachment you mention (and are mentioned in the comments of this post) are a symptom of the underlying ideology of patriarchy. We don’t always recognize the hidden biases we hold men to, leaving them in a place where the feel trapped and untrue. It’s much in the same way women might have been denied their athletic ambitions because of a destiny prescribed to them. [1] Be it a cruel friend or a selfish lover, I think a lot of men in our lives have a piece of their individuality and humanity supplanted by an ideal that only works in theory.
I can’t claim knowledge of a perfect patriarchy test. That said, since making the distinction between a “good man” and a good person who happens to be a man, I see a lot of my friends feel pressure to be something they’re not. And the thing they truly are often isn’t a bad thing in the first place.
