No, it’s when they have problems but you have all the anxiety as if they were your problems.
This anxiety has jack to do with you actually helping them, it’s just that you get so anxious about their problems that it impedes working on your own problems.
People who are complaining often aren't soliciting advice and don't welcome it if offered. I think the "damn that's crazy" responses generally come from people who are aware that offered help won't be warmly received and don't have the emotional energy to put on a more convincing display of empathy, but still pay lip service to the premise for the sake of civility.
But the exact opposite would be "What does that have to do with me?"
