I disagree with your framing this within a 'both sides' and 'male privilege' framework, but what you are alluding to is the psychological study referred to as 'Labeling Theory'.
We also have the same word in English, as "sonder".
> noun, the feeling one has on realizing that every other individual one sees has a life as full and real as one’s own, in which they are the central character and others, including oneself, have secondary or insignificant roles.
Translation: "The attacker's paid us to use our product to execute the cyberattacks"