You need to figure out what is absolutely important to you and what you can only get in a partner vs what you could get elsewhere. Sex, obviously should not be something you get elsewhere. The more things you say your partner needs to have, the smaller the eligible population and as a result the smaller the odds of finding a partner. Go where you can find people who share the same qualifications you require - for many that’s a church/temple/synagogue/mosque.
For others it’s from a similar ethnic community.
Writing can be hard because sometimes we put up barriers to our thoughts, to our level of “what’s good enough”, to what is appropriate or PC to talk about, etc.
I think that’s why many great writers were alcoholics - it takes down the barriers we set up within and gives us the “liquid courage” to just say something and not give a s*it.
I hope we can be adults enough to acknowledge the historical fact of substance use and its (potentially positive!) effect on the output of some writers without jumping to the conclusion that such an acknowledgement rises to an endorsement or recommendation.
Alcohol is known to reduce inhibitions, and I've noticed in my own work that the fear of imperfection will inhibit me from working at all, so even anecdotally this isn't surprising.
> I think that’s why many great writers were alcoholics - it takes down the barriers we set up within and gives us the “liquid courage” to just say something and not give a s*it.
Absolutely. There are certain styles of writing best done with a bottle of hard liquor, a keyboard that can take some abuse, and a clear night with nothing going on the next day until about noon.
It is less the death of the office and more the death of work. We just haven’t come to admit that. Death of work and “cold” relationships and the retreat to home, emotional connection, nurturing, caring. Once employers know it’s more about that and less about work then we will see things turn around.
Rather than calling it the death of work, you could instead think of it as a change in the nature of our relationship to work. I am all for going into the office often, as I think complex collaborative projects need face-time to have a tight feedback cycle. But I'm also ok with it not being good or necessary for everyone.
