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Off topic but I hate being forced to use Facebook properties like WhatsApp.

I’m forced to be in parent group chats in this accursed ecosystem and give Zuck another DAU.



You can SMS to/from WhatsApp clients. Of course video calling etc won't work.


Why are you forced to be in parent group chats?


Well ... when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much


... You'll end up being forced into WhatsApp groups? Sounds dangerous


Yeah, why not something else? There are a lot of better alternatives. Matrix (Element) although does the search functionality work yet? It sucked ass. I wonder if it works now.

Even Telegram is better, then there is Signal, Briar, and XMPP, too. They are fully featured ones. If you are fine with text only, then Ricochet Refresh is the best candidate as far as privacy goes.


Most parents I know dont even allow their children WhatsApp (as you said there are safer alternatives like Signal without weird social network functions you can barely control) so why would parents use it?

For me this just sounds nonsensical. I am sure it makes sense somewhere in the world


Where I live, WhatsApp is the standard. 100% of people have it installed, minus some hermits who have never heard of the Internet.

My parents know how to use WhatsApp and have it installed. My sister and her family, too. My friends, their friends, the scammer trying to explain to me how to access the crypto I apparently lost track of on their platform, my former coworkers, my current coworkers, the people I interact with for my freelance work, the government's road safety alerts, my ex-girlfriend who still has a bunch of my clothes, my neighborhthey areood group informing me when I need to put out the trash-they're all on WhatsApp.

It's the network effect. Even to get my family group on Signal, I'd have to get twenty people to install Signal, probably visit some of them to help them with the setup, do it again every time they switch phones, and so on. And they'd probably still default to WhatsApp because that's what they know.


this means WhatsApp is the easy choice, but nobody forces you ... yet


I mean yeah, I'm sure it depends and varies a lot. I would feel more comfortable if they used something more privacy-oriented, and I do the same. The rest, of course, is up to me.

I do not think I would be able to get my kid off the grid completely so might as well use a better alternative, and in many cases you simply just can't because you have to submit your homework through Facebook, and so forth. Thankfully it has settled down a bit post-COVID but there may still be cases of this crap. I loathe it.

In any case, a privacy-oriented alternative is better than the cancerous Meta. If you want no IMs at all, well, that may be tough. Kids find a way, trust me. I know I did. :D


I can report that Matrix/Element is still absolutely terrible, and not just the search.


Have you tried WhatsApp? There are weird non moderated groups of children, organised crime and much more. It's a fucking weird and dangerous place to be around IMO.


not perfect? yes

terrible? no way


Every time I use it, it has some huge box over a third of the page saying I must "verify sessions".

It's incredibly slow to propagate messages.

Initial set up is very confusing and offers far too many choices.

I've never worked out how to find rooms. Regularly someone will give me a room name and I can't find it or join it.

Their entire service went down (did someone say "decentralised"?) a few months ago.


> Every time I use it, it has some huge box over a third of the page saying I must "verify sessions".

do you use element web on the phone?

> It's incredibly slow to propagate messages.

was

> Initial set up is very confusing and offers far too many choices.

thing of the past, currently there are two choices, in the future there will be only one

> I've never worked out how to find rooms. Regularly someone will give me a room name and I can't find it or join it.

let someone invite you to the room or share a link

> Their entire service went down (did someone say "decentralised"?) a few months ago.

afaik only matrix.org went down


> afaik only matrix.org went down

correct; the rest of the network was unaffected - it was just one instance (albeit the biggest one). https://matrix.org/blog/2025/10/post-mortem.


You also end up handling 10x more faeces and vomit than you have seen in your existence to date ... while whatsapp is more gross, you handle it the same way you handle diarrhea - you hold your nose and deal with it.




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