> I'd imagine your "regular people" friends should be willing to help you out with something not readily in your power
That was actually the trigger for me...a few years ago I needed a very small favor and literally not one person would help because it was just slightly inconvenient for them, at the same time it was a massive ordeal for me, (I had to take a week off work, rent a car, and drive across the country and spent two weeks in a terrible panic besides). Given how much time and resources I'd spent on every one of these folks I was completely shocked to say the least. Everyone gave an obvious and transparent lie as an excuse, saying something like "oh sorry, but hopefully you can find someone else".
I really picked up on this broadly shared idea that "someone else" is supposed to handle this. I really think a lot of the traits that produce "regular people" as I use the term here are this combination of laziness, irresponsibility, and a narrow focus such that they're truly only aware of their own wants and needs at any given moment. I guess things in modern society are so diffused nowadays that it is possible for people deflect a ton of responsibility on other people.
Put another way, most folks are just coasting by as efficiently as possible, but this strategy doesn't produce world class anything, nor deep knowledge nor expertise of any subject. And these are the people who will disproportionately be looking to others to solve their problems.
Another interesting thing I've noticed on this is that while I quickly fell off the radar after a just a few "sorry, I can't help" replies, these folks don't seem to have any trouble whatsoever dealing with each other. Sure, they complain about people quite a lot, about lies and excuses and last minute cancellations or whatever, but week after week it seems everyone in their social group is just fine with the situation.
That was actually the trigger for me...a few years ago I needed a very small favor and literally not one person would help because it was just slightly inconvenient for them, at the same time it was a massive ordeal for me, (I had to take a week off work, rent a car, and drive across the country and spent two weeks in a terrible panic besides). Given how much time and resources I'd spent on every one of these folks I was completely shocked to say the least. Everyone gave an obvious and transparent lie as an excuse, saying something like "oh sorry, but hopefully you can find someone else".
I really picked up on this broadly shared idea that "someone else" is supposed to handle this. I really think a lot of the traits that produce "regular people" as I use the term here are this combination of laziness, irresponsibility, and a narrow focus such that they're truly only aware of their own wants and needs at any given moment. I guess things in modern society are so diffused nowadays that it is possible for people deflect a ton of responsibility on other people.
Put another way, most folks are just coasting by as efficiently as possible, but this strategy doesn't produce world class anything, nor deep knowledge nor expertise of any subject. And these are the people who will disproportionately be looking to others to solve their problems.
Another interesting thing I've noticed on this is that while I quickly fell off the radar after a just a few "sorry, I can't help" replies, these folks don't seem to have any trouble whatsoever dealing with each other. Sure, they complain about people quite a lot, about lies and excuses and last minute cancellations or whatever, but week after week it seems everyone in their social group is just fine with the situation.